when you’ve basically grown up with them, known one another since you were both 5. Prayed together, cried together….laughed, together. You were inseparable. When ppl saw one of you, they asked where was the other. Adjoined at the hip, although we’ve grown up we never seemed to have grown apart. But suddenly it’s different, or has it been that way for awhile?
For me it has, but you never seemed to quite get it. Couldn’t see past your own plight. The countless phone calls…the countless hours of me being an ear to your frustrations….a shoulder to your tears….a comforter to your fears and insecurities.
I guess it’s my own fault for not speaking up. I just thought that eventually you’d stop just to say “how are you”…just one time would’ve pulled me from beneath the water…just once…truth is I wasn’t ok. I’m still not ok. Now that I’ve stopped answering the phone, showing less and less concern…created a distance to force you to care. I guess you don’t care. I see you’ve finally gotten the message and stopped calling. Unfortunately it’s not the message I intended to convey. But I guess it’s always been like that. Always about you. I created the distance as a plea. In hopes of one day soon that you’d take the time to notice, me. Still had a little hope left that you’d make the first move. But suddenly I’ve realized that I’m still the fool.
Which makes me question, was it ever real? I know it’s natural for ppl to grow apart. But we were never truly mended from the start.